Somewhere between unapproachable and compliant, lies the sweet spot where you are curious and open to learning, while alert to whether the incoming stimulus is genuinely of interest to you and serves your well being. Being approachable means we are friendly and curious. Our body language communicates our level of availability in very subtle ways all the time. If we experienced a safe, nurturing, respectful climate, then we might be better able to balance both tendencies and alter how we show up with the context. Yet, some of us tend to tilt (or err) generally on the side of being open, while others tend to lean toward being closed to input. Both tendencies, if overused, can actually end up putting us in harm’s way. When we are too closed (unapproachable), we can unwittingly be too self-protective and miss important lessons. When too open, we can unwittingly become gullible and naive. To stay in balance, we must remember that each small interaction is a choice we can make consciously. By tuning into our true self throughout each day, we can choose small steps along the way with more awareness.
TILT 365 WEEKLY CHALLENGE: Today, I will notice when I want to be open and when I want to be closed.
Avoiding Compliance (Overuse):
There’s a time and place for everything and certainly there are times when we might choose to intentionally be compliant in order to please someone we love or go along because it’s not an important battle we want to fight. Being accommodating can be a wise choice if we are aware of doing so for a reason that makes sense. The trouble with compliance arises in those of us who have developed an unconscious pattern of being compliant with people who might manipulate or take advantage of us. When our general body language tilts to openness too much or too often, others will take notice and we might be inviting trouble without realizing it. If we show signs of being available, yet don’t keep good boundaries that ensure a more equal exchange, the relationship can tilt out of balance. You can tell when you’re scales are tipping toward compliance by when you start to feel resentful, complaining or blaming toward others for “taking advantage”. As soon as this happens, the best antidote is to notice how you might need to be assertive in order to keep things flowing both ways. When we remain alert, we can notice the ebb and flow of balanced relations and strike a good cadence that demonstrates the healthy give and take of a positive relationship that will grow over time.
Commendable Trait: Approachable
Learn more about being Approachable and Tilt 365
Catch up on the Tilt 365 Weekly Challenges